Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
