It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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