You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
