Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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