Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
