I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
