New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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