I cannot find my penis.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize