Swine flu. Run for my life!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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