If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
