Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
