what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Pooping to opera.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
