One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
