You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
