Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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