Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
