My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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