Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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