And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize