He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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