I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
