I am puke
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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