Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize