He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
