I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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