You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
