i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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