I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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