2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize