fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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