she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
