Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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