And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
