We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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