can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
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You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize