FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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