You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
