I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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