Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
