what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
