I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
