was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
