I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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