Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
