You're my little dorito
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
