tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
