His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
