He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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