For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
