I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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