can u get pink eye on your cock?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
