the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
