okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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