Well douche your snatch and let's go!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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