I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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