..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
