So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
