There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
