What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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