is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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