with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The air taste purple.
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