True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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