Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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