Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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