i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
